Holiday “less-self”-ness

When I allow it, people amaze me.

I go around comparing myself to others all the time. I think the majority of American people always want to know how we’re doing in the relative sense. Smarter? Prettier? Wealthier? Better parent? Is my homemade dessert better than hers? Gain praise. Avoid criticism. We know how to do this; we play this game because, for most of us, the game of survival has already been won.

I like to achieve things. I attribute it to being the smallest kid in class when I was young, but who really knows why. I feel pressure to do well, and that affects my everyday experience. I don’t spend enough time appreciating the amazing-ness that all people possess.

This holiday time away has forced me to slow down. I have no work to do until I return. I have no shows to play, no more studio time to prepare for. And so I am less focused on achieving and more interested in enjoying those around me – my friends and family, but also strangers and people on TV.

Going even bigger, my mind melts down when I try to comprehend the complexity of 7 billion human beings, each with their own history, talents, and beliefs, all interacting and affecting each other. They are loving, caring, competing, hurting each other. It’s too much and I now find myself, by habit, falling back into my own worries. Joy to the world, as it turns out, is a tough thing to hold at length.

So on a more self-centered note, the latest record updates:
http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/ezekieljay/updates/

Merry Christmas and have a happy, healthy new year!

Ezekiel

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