Drones and Thrones

pizzadroneI’m just going to jump in here. Happy New Year – ok there’s some context for ya. Am I excited about this year? Yeah, I really am! You know, I already have 4 guitars and a girl who I am madly in love with and I could probably die happy with just that. And maybe like 3 more guitars. But I do not wish to die yet as there is a lot to live for this year! Here are some things I am hoping come to pass in 2017:

1. I want something delivered to me by drone. I don’t care if it’s in a Domino’s box or an Amazon box. Dammit, I want a robot helicopter to land on my lawn, play an adorable Nintendo 8-bit version of the 1812 Overture, shoot confetti into the air from a tube, and then tip a tiny delivery-man cap before flying off into the wild blue yonder.

2. I hope to see the American people brought together in an unprecedented, nationwide culpability-fest where we hold ourselves accountable for the turd that is soon to be living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  Did you ever see those overly polite gophers from the Warner Brothers cartoons? “Oh, goodness, I’m so sorry we voted for this indubitable blowhard. A thousand pardons!” “Oh, no no, definitely WE are to blame for the blowhard, for OUR candidate doubled down on smug liberal elitism while ignoring you all completely! Very sorry indeed!” “Oh heavens, it is most definitely OUR fault for ‘voting our conscience,’ which is, to say, not on an actual ballot!”

3. I wish to see my first ever episode of any of the following: Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Westworld, House of Cards, Narcos, Mad Men, Silicon Valley, Better Call Saul, Veep, or The Wire. I will then watch no more than one episode of that show every week. If I start appearing very thin and gaunt in photos, you’ll know this plan has gone horribly wrong.

4. Finally, of course, I will be looking to have new adventures in making music. Did you know I have started looking into playing jazz chords? Jazz makes you look really advanced because many people give up just looking at the names of the chords. For example, F#min7b5 is one not a lot of people will touch:
Newbies: “F#? Don’t know that, it isn’t in Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”
Blues/Rockabilly: “Nope, I don’t do minors” (exception: Jerry Lee Lewis)
Rock: “Seventh? I only do fifths… of Jack Daniels.”
Folk: “Diminished fifth? Don’t know what it means man, other than the 20% of us living in poverty for which I have written this anti-establishment anthem!”

I could go on, but I don’t want to be overly ambitious in my list-making. Plus, given how things are going with the incoming government, for all I know we’re going to be spending next Christmas at ground zero (I know the holidays are over but check out this Cold War classic!) But, even though I’ll be stockpiling canned food and drinking water, you can expect more blogs from me in 2017. After all, I’m more than just an almost-famous singer-songwriter. I’m a person with feelings, dammit.

Happiness,
Ezekiel

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